


You And Me

by velociraptor44



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, style
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 05:45:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6040477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velociraptor44/pseuds/velociraptor44
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since middle school when Kyle realised his feelings for Stan, things have been unbearable. Why does Stan keep giving Kyle hope that there is the possibility for something when he's so bogged down in this false expectation of what his life should be like?</p>
            </blockquote>





	You And Me

“Kyle!” Stan called out down the crowded hallway. Kyle looked up to see his best friend making his way towards his locker and smiled.

  
“Hey dude.” He greeted, closing the locker door and leaning against the cold metal.

  
“Dude, can you believe it? Our first day of middle school.” He stated, gazing around at the new sights and sounds. Everything was bigger; the kids, the lockers, even the water fountains.

  
“Yeah, it’s about goddam time. I felt like we were never going to get out of elementary school.” Kyle laughed to himself, walking slowly down the hallway searching for his homeroom number on the door.

  
“What’s your homeroom?” Stan wondered, taking a peek at Kyle’s schedule.

  
“It’s…1145, Mr. Hackleberry.” He announced, “What’s yours?”

  
Stan reached in his brown coat pocket and pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper, “Mrs. Meyers, room 1132. I think I have the same one as Wendy. I’m pretty sure you share homeroom with Cartman.” Stan stated as he approached the door and glanced quickly inside.

  
“I saw your schedule, we don’t have any other classes together either.” Kyle told him, looking down at the freshly waxed tiled floor.

  
“Ah, shit dude that sucks.” Stan said with a frown. “Well, we can still do homework at my house after school sometimes, right?” He suggested.

  
“Yeah, sure.” Kyle agreed. Just as Kyle was about to leave, he saw a familiar black haired girl walk up beside his best friend.

  
“Hey guys.” Wendy piped up, standing beside her boyfriend, hugging her textbooks close to her chest. “I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other this term.” Testaburger flirted as she pinched Stan’s side and walked inside the classroom to sit with a group of girls near the front.

  
“Dude, did you hear that?” Stan asked rhetorically. “I was afraid that she’d break up with me since we didn’t talk all summer, but I guess she’s still into me.”

  
Kyle gave the raven haired boy a weak smile, “That’s great Stan.”

  
“Yeah, it is.” He declared in a dreamy voice, “Well, I don’t wanna make you late for class. See you later, Kyle.” He concluded, walking swiftly into the crowded room.

 

Kyle stood alone in the nearly deserted hallway for a few moments before shrugging his shoulders and slumping to his classroom, mumbling under his breath, “Yeah, have fun.”  
~~~

 

  
Kyle heard the doorbell ring from upstairs in his room. He sat in his room and waited to hear the voice of whoever was there, and sure enough, it was a familiar sound.

  
“Hey Kyle.” Stan announced as he barged in the red head’s room and tossed his backpack down on the floor, climbing onto Kyle’s bed and leaning his back against the wall. He threw his head back in a dramatic fashion and shoved his gloved hands into his front pockets.

  
“What’s up?” Kyle asked the black haired boy who seemed to have something weighing on his mind. Stan let out a sigh and gave Kyle his full attention.

  
“I talked to Kenny. He told me that Wendy was gonna break up with me at the beginning of the school year, but her friends told her that I’d be willing to makeout with her, and so that made her want to stay with me.” Stan let out, looking down at his hands that he shoved deep into his pockets.

  
Kyle raised a concerned eyebrow, “So basically the only reason she stayed is because she thinks you’ll do shit with her?” Kyle reaffirmed. Stan nodded slowly. “Well, are you willing to do that?” Kyle questioned, leaning back on his spinning chair.

  
Stan shrugged his shoulders, “I dunno, maybe. I mean, we’ve already kissed, so making out shouldn’t be that much different, right?” Stan inquired. Kyle put down his pencil and joined his friend on his bed, ready to invest his input.

  
“Yeah, I guess it’s technically just kissing a lot and for a longer period of time, but I think it can lead to other stuff, you know, more serious stuff.” Kyle elaborated, looking at his friend’s sombre blue eyes. Stan nodded in agreeance.

  
“Yeah, Kenny told me that too, but I’m pretty sure we can control ourselves, at least I can.” He boasted. “But that’s not really what I’m worried about.” He continued, his confidence going back down.

  
“What are you worried about?” Kyle questioned.

  
Stan’s face turned a light shade of pink as he kept opening and closing his mouth, about to say something and then taking it back. “Well…it’s just…I don’t know if I’d be good at it. A peck on the lips seems a lot different than full on makeout. I’m no Kenny.” He digressed, taking his toque off his head and flinging it to the floor, running his hands through his messy black hair.

  
“I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Kyle assured, feeling his own cheeks turn slightly pink after complimenting his kissing skills.

  
“But what if I suck? If making out was the only reason Wendy chose to stay with me, I have to be good at it.” Stan declared.

  
“Well maybe you shouldn’t date someone if all they want you for is that.” He suggested to his best friend.

  
“Or…” Stan went on, completely ignoring Kyle’s comment, “Maybe all I need is some practice.” He proposed. Kyle felt his breath get caught in his throat as he analysed what his best friend had just said.

  
“You mean like, kissing a mirror or something?” Kyle wondered aloud, going for the most innocent form of “practice” he could think of.

  
“Well, not exactly.” Stan whispered, meeting Kyle’s green eyes, “I’ve tried that before, but I just feel like an idiot. Plus, a mirror can’t tell me if I did a good job or not.” He went on.

  
Kyle felt his colour begin to fade from his face, not quite knowing where he was going with this. “You mean practice with some other girls, like Bebe, or Red, or Patty?”  
Stan shook his head slowly, “I can’t do that, that’d be cheating.” Stan reasoned. “I was thinking with a friend; someone who I don’t have romantic feelings for, so it wouldn’t count as cheating.”

  
Kyle tried with all his might to keep his jaw from dropping open. Was Stan proposing what it sounded like he was? “So were you thinking Kenny?” Kyle asked nervously.

  
Stan let out a sigh, “That was my initial thought, but I feel like I’d feel weird doing that with Kenny because we’re not as close.”

  
“As close as who?” Kyle reiterated.

  
Stan lowered his tone and looked right into his best friend’s emerald eyes, “You and me.”

  
Kyle felt the world stop turning for a moment, not believing with his own ears what he had heard. Ever since beginning sixth grade, Kyle’s emotions had been on a rollercoaster. Even though Stan and him didn’t have any classes together, they saw each other a fair bit, as they always had, whether it be at lunch, at each other’s houses, or on the basketball court in their neighbourhood. But something had changed for Kyle. Kyle couldn’t help but feel a sense of nervous excitement whenever Stan would pay specific attention to him, ask for his help with something, or even when he’d accidently bump into his or sit close to him. Kyle wasn’t quite sure what the feelings were, but he knew there was something different that he never felt before.

  
“I know it sounds crazy, and you can totally say no. I don’t want to make anything weird…” Stan acknowledged, looking down at his gloved hands. Kyle tried to calm his thoughts before replying, hoping he would sound a lot more composed than he was.

  
“I don’t think it’d be that weird.” Kyle announced quietly, looking back at the dark blue eyes he’d known all his life. “If you need to to save your relationship, I guess it’d be fine.”  
Stan let out a relieved smile, “Thank god you didn’t think I was crazy or something. And I promise, I won’t tell anyone; this stays between you and me, right here in this room. Not even Kenny or Cartman have to know.” Stan promised.

  
Kyle let out a laugh, “Yeah, especially not Cartman. God, he’d never let it go.”

  
Stan laughed in agreeance, “Yeah, he totally wouldn’t.” After the laughter died down, the boys sat on the bed and looked at each other in silence, not quite sure how to proceed. Stan cleared his throat before speaking again,

  
“So, uh…I’ll just do what I do when I kiss Wendy, except, you know, make it last a little longer.” He proposed, checking for signs of agreeance in Kyle’s eyes. Kyle nodded, and so Stan proceeded. The black haired boy leaned in close and closed his eyes, Kyle reciprocating the action until their lips graced each other. At that point, there was no turning back. Kyle let Stan initiate it, not wanting to seem too eager. Stan’s lips began to move slowly against his as he let himself submit to his friend’s soft touch. It was at that moment that it was clear to Kyle: he had feelings for Stan Marsh.

  
Kyle wanted to back away. He wanted to distance himself from his skilled lips so that he didn’t have to live with a beautiful memory that will forever taunt him. Kyle knew Stan didn’t feel the same way about him, but his emotions didn’t seem to care about logic. His emotions ignored the existence of Wendy Testaburger and the fact that she was using him to become popular or whatever she would accomplish by making out with Stan. But as much as Kyle knew it would be smart to stop before hurting himself any further, he couldn’t resist diving deeper and deeper into a state of pure bliss, absorbing every touch of his light pink lips against his, knowing that this would probably be the only time this would ever happen to him.

  
Kyle was suddenly filled with a surge of passion that he injected into the kiss, thrusting his lips harder onto the raven haired boy to the point where Stan was startled himself. Yet instead of retreating or telling Kyle not to take the experiment so seriously, Stan reciprocated. The Marsh boy leaned in deeper, filling Kyle’s lips with the same passion he had just given him, even having the courage to slip in his tongue into the red head’s mouth. Kyle opened his eyes in shock at the latest development, but decided to accept it, not wanting to make too much out of it, even though fireworks were going off in his mind. After a little while longer, the boys pulled away, catching their breath and wiping the sides of their mouth from the bit of saliva they had sloppily bestowed upon each other.

  
Stan looked up at Kyle as a small grin spread across his face, “So, do you think she’ll be impressed?”

  
Kyle gave him a closed mouth smile and added with certainty, “Yeah, I think she will be.”

  
Stan let out a sigh, “Good. Thanks for that Kyle, you might have saved my relationship.” He added, slapping his back jovially.

  
Kyle forced himself to laugh at his friend’s lightheartedness, thinking about the permanent damage he had done to his emotions.

  
“Glad I could help.”

 

~~~

“Can I come in?” A pathetic voice called out through the sound of the pouring rain. Kyle looked at his soaking wet best friend and quickly opened the door wider.

  
“Yeah, of course dude.” Kyle announced, letting him in and taking his dripping coat off his drooping shoulders.

  
“Sorry I didn’t text you first, but I can’t find my phone. I’m a fucking mess right now.” Stan admitted, kicking off his shoes and flopping himself on Kyle’s living room couch. Kyle went into the bathroom and came out with a fresh towel, tossing it Stan’s way.

  
“Thanks dude.” Stan said gloomily, wiping his face.

  
“What happened?” Kyle questioned, already guessing it had something to do with his shaky relationship. Stan let out a sigh and leaned back on the familiar sofa.

  
“Remember a few months back when the four of us went camping?” Stan asked Kyle, Kyle nodding in remembrance of the summer trip they took to the mountains not too long ago. “Well, turns out Wendy cheated on me with Clyde then, and that explains why her and Bebe aren’t talking anymore.”

  
Kyle placed a consoling hand on his shoulder, “Shit Stan, I’m sorry to hear that. That’s really fucking low of her. You don’t deserve that.” He reassured, appalled by Wendy’s slutty behaviour. The raven haired teen looked up at Kyle with the soft blue eyes that he had become accustomed to over the years.

  
“Yeah well, maybe I do. I’m a pretty shitty boyfriend.” Stan went on, deprecating himself.

  
“Just stop, Stan. Don’t let the shitty thing Wendy did to you make you lose confidence. Clyde’s a tubby piece of shit compared to you. I don’t know why she’d ever do that.” Kyle replied honestly.

  
“Bullshit. There’s nothing that makes me any better than Clyde.” Stan continued, burying his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans.

  
“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re the only freshman in the history of our school that’s made it on the senior A team as quarterback, not to mention that you get better grades than him.” Kyle added to boost his confidence.

  
“Nice try with the grade thing, but my grades are as mediocre as his.” Stan piped up, not looking up at his friend’s face.

  
“Well at least you have a career goal that doesn’t involved fitting people for shoes the rest of your life.” Kyle quipped, hoping to get at least a small smile out of his friend. Kyle’s comment seemed to work, seeing as Stan brought his gaze back up to eyelevel with him.

  
“Thanks, Kyle.” Stan smirked, coming in for a hug, wrapping his toned arms around his scrawny friend and squeezing him hard. Stan held the hug longer than Kyle expected, but Kyle figured out why he didn’t let go after he felt a damp spot forming on his shoulder. It had been quite some time since Stan cried in front of him, but he now realised that this Wendy incident did more damage than he imagined.

  
“Hey, if you want to stay for a while, we can watch a movie or something, you know, to take your mind off all this shit. My parents are gone to the east coast for the week with Ike, so they won’t bother us.” Kyle suggested, continuing to embrace his heartbroken friend. He felt Stan’s head move up and down in agreeance as he sniffled and wiped some tears before breaking the grip he had on the red head.

  
“Yeah, sure. Sounds good.” He said in a whimpery voice, trying to regain his composure. “God, you must think I’m an idiot for crying over this.” He admitted, blowing his nose with a kleenex he took from his pocket.

  
“No dude, not at all. Nothing like this has ever happened to me, so I can’t judge.” Kyle affirmed, trying to ease his sense of humiliation.

  
“You’re lucky you’ve never been in love, Kyle. It hurts like a bitch.” Stan elaborated, fixing his messy hair.

  
“Yeah, I can imagine.” Kyle sighed, pushing his own feelings to the back of his mind as he tried to sympathise with someone who had unknowingly been breaking his own heart the past three years.

  
The two put on an old comedy hoping it would lighten the mood, but it was hard to get any laughs out of Stan that night. Kyle brought a blanket over to the couch to make Stan more comfortable, since he knew how much he loved wallowing in his bed when he was depressed. Stan took the blanket and spread it over himself and Kyle, cuddling up to the corner, trying to make himself warmer.

  
“Sorry about the cold; my parents don’t like the heat on before November.” Kyle proclaimed, curled up on the opposite side of the couch. Stan looked up at him with puppy dog eyes and asked his friend a question.

  
“Would you mind if I laid my head on your lap? Might make things warmer for both of us.” He explained. Kyle nodded, and with that, Stan invited brought himself over and snuggled up to his best friend, placing his head where he said he would. Kyle let out a slow breath, taking in one of the rare, tender moments he got to have with Stan, appreciating every second like it may never happen again. These moments were few and far between, but they were what made Kyle’s heart skip a beat, praying to god that Stan didn’t feel his quickened heartbeat seeing as he was so close to his chest.

  
After only a little while, Stan dozed off, his head still placed delicately atop of Kyle’s thighs. Kyle took the rare chance to observe his friend sleeping as he brushed the hair out of his face to get a better look at the visage he adored so much for so long. He watched his chest slowly move up and down as he breathed out long breaths through his nose. Kyle brushed his hands lightly through his hair, hoping not to wake him. With false hope in his mind, Kyle fell asleep shortly after, hoping he could retain all he could so maybe in the future he could dream of this moment again so he could at least have Stan in his sleep.

 

~~~

“I’m not that drunk!” Stan defended as he fell into the arms of one of his best friend’s.

  
Cartman scoffed at him and dragged his limp body over to a chair, “You’re fucking smashed, Stan. Kenny, what do I do with this shit?” Eric bellowed, calling over his best friend. Kenny clambered over and leaned against the large brunette, letting out a deep belch before answering,

  
“I dunno, get him some water?” Kenny stammered. Cartman rolled his eyes.

  
“Fuck, you’re as gone as he is. Why am I always the fucking babysitter?” Eric asked himself rhetorically. “Where’s my other sober friend when you need him?”

  
“You mean Kyle?” Stan called out. Eric nodded.

  
“Yes, of course I mean Kyle. He was the only one smart enough not to come to this shitty party.” Cartman elaborated, pulling out his phone and dialing his number. Cartman walked outside to Token’s balcony, hoping it wouldn’t be as noisy, only to be proven wrong.

  
“Hello?” The red head’s higher pitched voice answered.

  
“Kyle? Can you hear me?” Eric questioned, almost screaming into the phone.

  
“Barely. Cartman, what do you want? I’m busy studying for the midterm, which you should be doing too.” Kyle preached.

  
“Honestly, I’d rather be studying than be here having to take care of these train wrecks.” Eric admitted.

  
Kyle let out a laugh, “Jesus, how trashed are they?”

  
“Really fucking trashed, Kyle. I don’t know why I always come to these things if I’m just gonna be making sure these guys don’t do anything stupid all night.” He declared, trying to overpower the sound of the music and people cannonballing into the swimming pool.

  
“Is Kyle on the phone?” Stan’s voice called from the background as he opened the sliding glass door to the balcony and grabbed hold of Eric’s phone.

  
“Kyle, can you hear me?” Stan yelled.

  
“Yeah Stan, I can hear you.” Kyle replied, somewhat amused but also disappointed in his drunk persona.

  
“You should have come to the party, dude! It’d be so much more fun with you! Imagine if you and me got drunk? Ha! That’d be so funny to see you like that.” Stan went on, laughing hysterically.

  
“Maybe one day, but to be honest I’d rather get drunk for my first time in my own house or something, not at a huge ass party.” Kyle explained, knowing Stan probably couldn’t take in half of what he just said.

  
“Sure, sure, we can do that! Just name the place and the date and we’ll arrange it, just you and me.” Stan droned on.

  
“You better give Cartman back his phone before you drop it.” Kyle instructed, laughing mildly. Stan reluctantly handed Eric back his device and showed himself back inside the house. Soon after, a crashing sound could be heard in the background.

  
“What was that?” Kyle questioned worriedly into the phone.

  
“I don’t know.” Cartman stated, opening the glass door and searching the area. “Holy shit! Kenny jumped down to the level below! I gotta go, Kyle.” Eric replied hastily.

  
“Wait! If you’re taking care of Kenny, who’s gonna watch Stan?” Kyle asked quickly before Cartman had a chance to hang up.

  
“Looks like no one. You can come by if you’re worried, but for seriously, I have to go. Bye.” He said after an abrupt hang-up.

  
“Ah fuck…” Kyle stated aloud. He quickly got dressed and made his way over to the rich boy’s house, not at all impressed by the amount of noise coming from a party full of underage drinkers. Kyle let himself in and searched around for his friend, hoping he hadn’t gotten himself into any real trouble.

  
“Kyle!” He heard from a distance. He could recognise the deep, soothing voice from anywhere, even with its drunk intonations.

  
“Stan?” Kyle called back, gazing through the mass of people. He meandered his way until he came face to face with the raven haired junior he still harboured feelings for after all these years.

  
“Stan, you can barely stand up.” Kyle reminded him as he felt the muscular boy flop onto him, nearly knocking him off his feet.

  
“I, I’m so sorry for that Kyle.” Stan stammered as he attempted to stand up straight, regaining whatever balance he could. “You know what’s crazy, Kyle? I never told you how good of a kisser you were.” Stan said a little bit louder than he should have.

  
Kyle rolled his eyes at his intoxicated friend, “Stan, you’re drunk. You always go off on random old memories.” He reminded him truthfully. Kyle was quite accustomed to Stan’s drunken mannerisms by this point, but he had to admit, admitting the kissing thing was something he hadn’t heard before.

  
“Kyle, do you even remember that? When I asked you to makeout with me so I could impress Wendy?” Stan called to him, trying to overpower the music. Kyle’s face grew increasingly redder as more attention was been drawn in their direction.

  
“Yes Stan, I remember.” Kyle told him, attempting to guide him towards the front door.

  
“You know what’s funny? I think you’re a better kisser than she is.” He giggled uncharacteristically. “Kyle, are you still a good kisser?” Stan asked his best friend.

  
Kyle’s eyes went wide, “Stan, you’re drunk, let’s get you home before the cops show up and you get in trouble along with everyone else here.” He instructed, changing the subject.

  
“Kyle, just, just, lemme check one thing first.” Stan slurred. Without warning, the Marsh boy brought his mouth to Kyle’s and planted a hard kiss on his sober lips. Kyle could feel the colour drain from his face as he could sense every single person in the room looking in their direction. Kyle hoisted the quarterback off of him and stood him up straight, trying to prove to everyone that he only did that because he was completely gone. To Kyle’s surprise, little attention was given to what was a monumental moment for Kyle, probably due to the fact that everyone else was drunk off their asses too.

  
Without saying a word, Kyle dragged him out the front door and back to his house, Stan stammering all the way home.

  
“Why didn’t you kiss me back?” Stan questioned, wobbling back and forth, barely managing to stay on the sidewalk without Kyle’s arm for support.

  
“You wouldn’t have wanted me to, trust me. You’re still dating Wendy, remember?” Kyle stressed, getting tired from holding up someone so much heavier than himself.

  
“Ha! That’s right, I am.” He chuckled to himself, “Sometimes she can be such a bitch though, did you know that?” Stan hollered, his voice echoing off the other houses in the neighbourhood.

  
“Yeah, you’ve mentioned it before.” Kyle understated, knowing full well that probably 80% of the time she was mentioned at all it was in a negative light.

  
“I don’t know why I still put up with her shit.” Stan went on. “I bet you’d make a way better boyfriend than she’d ever make a boyfriend…I mean girlfriend! Oh god, I can’t get my genders right.” Stan laughed at his own intoxication.

  
“I’m sure I would.” Kyle mumbled inaudibly under his breath as they approached Stan’s house. Kyle pulled a key out of his front pocket and unlocked the door for him, leading him upstairs because he knew full well that he wasn’t capable of making it up the stairs himself.

  
“Night Stan.” Kyle whispered into the dark.

  
“Kyle, wait!” Stan whispered back. Kyle came back to his bed and kneeled down beside him.

  
“What?” He questioned snappily.

  
“Can you at least give me a kiss goodnight?” Stan wondered, giving Kyle doughy puppy dog eyes. Kyle knew the most appropriate response would be to walk right out the door and not even acknowledge the statement, but he figured he wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning anyway. Kyle placed a soft, gentile kiss on his whiskey flavoured lips, savouring the feeling he hadn’t had since the sixth grade. He pulled away slowly, observing the satisfied look on his face.

  
“Now will you go to sleep?” Kyle asked his drunk friend.

  
“Yeah, now I can.” Stan concluded, pulling the blanket up to his chin. As Kyle was walking out the door, he heard Stan’s last remark.

  
“Oh, and Kyle? You’re still a good kisser, by the way.”

 

~~~~

“How does it look?” Kyle asked his friend as he tossed aside the last of the boxes, looking over all the hard work they did to their apartment.

  
“Pretty fucking great.” Stan told him with a smile. “I don’t know what I’d do without your stellar colour-coordinating and decorating skills. I guess that’s an advantage of having a gay best friend.” Stan joked. Kyle picked up the nearest pillow and flung it across the room right into his stomach.

  
“Fucking stereotypes.” Kyle stated with an eye roll. “But either way, I bet our apartment kicks Cartman and Kenny’s apartment’s ass.” Kyle boasted confidently.

  
“Yeah, probably even Bebe’s and Wendy’s too.” Stan added on, “You’d think since they’re girls that they’d be good at this shit, but Wendy can be so fucking tacky with decorating sometimes.” Stan continued, taking a seat on their new sofa that was right next to the window overlooking downtown Denver.

  
“I never noticed.” Kyle admitted, “Tell me again why you didn’t want to move in with your girlfriend of many years?”

  
Stan laughed lightly, “Well, not technically “many years”; we’ve been off and on too much to call it that.” He explained, “Plus, you know us, we’re too unstable to own something as important together as an apartment.”

  
Kyle raised a curious eyebrow his way, “Isn’t it kind of strange being in a relationship that you don’t even know will work out?”

  
Stan shrugged his shoulders, “Nah, you get used to it, at least we have by now. Plus, I don’t really know what people mean when they say “work out”; for me, working out is just staying together. I’m not planning on marrying her or anything.” Stan told his friend honestly. Kyle leaned his hip against a bookcase near the TV and crossed his arms over his chest.

  
“You’re not?” He inquired.

  
“Maybe at one point I would have thought that was a good idea, but now? No way. I’ve lived in a house with an unstable marriage and it really fucked with me. I don’t want to go through all that shit like my parents did.” Stan elaborated. Kyle nodded in agreeance.

  
“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I never had to go through that with my parents, so I’ve never had those insecurities.” Kyle expanded. Stan got up and walked around the apartment for a little while as though he was looking for something.

  
“You know what this place needs to make it feel ours?” Stan asked his friend, Kyle getting mad at himself for feeling happy with the mention of the word “ours”.

  
“What?”

  
“A dog. Ever since Sparky died, I always wished I had a dog again.” Stan reminisced, looking out the large window. Kyle glanced around the apartment.

  
“Well, this building is pet friendly, and it is bigger than most apartments. I guess a smaller dog would be ok.” Kyle observed. Stan’s dark eyes lit up like the fourth of July.

  
“Are you serious? You’ll consider it?” He piped up happily.

  
“Yeah sure, why not?” Kyle shrugged. “If you want, we can go down to the animal shelter right now, they’re probably still open.” He elaborated. Stan practically skipped over to his friend to wrap him in a tight hug.

  
“You’re the best roommate ever. Alright, so you and me are gonna get a dog?” Stan repeated, making sure Kyle wasn’t just bullshitting him.

  
“Why would I refuse a future vet-tech from owning something he’ll be working with for the rest of his life?” Kyle deduced.

  
A few blocks down the road and a few hours later, the college students exited with a new member to their family.

  
“What do you wanna name him?” Kyle asked Stan who was busy holding the leash to their new medium sized brown mutt.

  
“I’m not really sure, but I was thinking maybe Chef, you know, in honour of him.” Stan suggested. Kyle and Stan looked down at the shaggy mutt as though to see if he fit the bill.

  
“He looks like he could be a Chef.” Kyle agreed, patting the dog’s head as he let out an affectionate yip of joy. “Alright Chef, we’re taking you home now. Hope you like the place.” Kyle said kiddishly as he talked to the dog.

  
“Don’t worry Chef, Kyle’s the nicest guy ever. If you don’t like living with him, then something must be seriously wrong with you.” Stan complimented his friend as they both watched the excited dog’s tail wag. Kyle figured if he had a tail, it’d be wagging too.

 

~~~

“Kyle, I think I’m going to do it.” Stan announced out of the blue one day as the boys were finishing up a game of Mario Cart.

  
“Do what?” Kyle wondered, putting down the controller as the game came to an end.

  
“Propose to Wendy.” Stan stated as-a-matter-of-factly. Kyle’s eyes went wide as his jaw nearly fell off his face.

  
“You want to what?” Kyle reiterated, hoping he heard it incorrectly the first time.

  
Stan leaned back on the sofa with his arms behind his head, “I mean, we have been together for years and years, it’s probably about time I show some commitment. We’re adults now; I’ll be graduated this spring and her in two years. I figure it’s time.”

  
Kyle just sat there, unable to form words. “Dude, this is so…random. You always talked about how you never even wanted to get married.”

  
Stan let out a sigh, “Yeah, I know, but I feel like it’s kind of just something you do, you know? You go to college, you get a job, you get married. It’s like the circle of life.” He expanded generically.

  
“Do you honestly think it’s a good idea to get married to Wendy though? You guys just got back together a few months ago.” Kyle reasoned, trying to talk some sense into his suddenly delusional friend.

  
“You know what I think? I think you’re just jealous of Wendy and me. You don’t want her to take me away ‘cause then you’d just be stuck with Cartman and Kenny.” Stan went on angrily.

  
“Why do you always get so defensive when people question your decisions?” Kyle huffed, “And for the record, I wouldn’t be “stuck” with Cartman and Kenny, they happen to be my really good friends.”

  
Stan let out a derogatory laugh, “You still didn’t say that you wouldn’t be jealous.”

  
Kyle felt his face become as red as his hair, but not from blushing. “You know what, Stan? I’ve watched you go back and forth, heart break after heart break with this girl and you somehow keep coming back to her even though you’ve claimed yourself that she can be a huge bitch! I don’t know what it’d take to show you that you guys aren’t mean to be.” Kyle screamed, his voice echoing off the walls so much so that the dog retreated into the bedroom to get away from the madness. Stan clenched his fist and gritted his teeth, and with one foul swoop, he brought his fist to Kyle’s face, knocking him off the couch.

  
“Don’t you fucking say that about my girlfriend!” Stan shot back defensively.

  
“I didn’t say anything you haven’t said about her yourself!” Kyle yelled, bringing his fist up and upper cutting him right in the jaw. Kyle may have less muscles than Stan, but when it came to fist fighting, they both had about the same amount of skill. A few more punches were thrown from the both of them until they realised how stupid they were acting.

  
“Listen, I’m sorry I said that shit, but you can’t deny that some of it was true.” Kyle said weakly, his face and stomach slightly bruised. Stan caught his breath and finally replied.

  
“Fine, some of it was true, but I’m still going to marry her and you can’t fucking stop me.” Stan declared, fire still in his voice.

  
“I won’t try to, but don’t expect my support either unless you can prove that you guys are capable of it.” Kyle replied, his breath regaining its normality.

  
“And how do you expect us to do that?” Stan questioned, going into the freezer for an icepack to put on his cheek.

  
“I don’t know. But do you honestly think that you and her would make a better couple than you and me? After all we’ve been through?” Kyle asked harshly.

  
Stan spun around quickly and gave him a puzzled look, “Huh?” He let out. Kyle’ face became a ghostly white as he realised that he just voiced what he had held in for all those years. He knew that there was no hope for them like that, so he had no choice but to let it go.

  
“Never mind.” He dismissed, going into the freezer for his own ice pack.

 

~~~

The wedding went off without a hitch. The ceremony was beautiful, the bridesmaids were gorgeous, and even the tacky decorations didn’t look half bad. When it was time to give the speeches, Kenny and Cartman did a hell of a good job, even though Kenny was half in the bag when he started. Everyone was laughing, dancing, eating, and having a great time. Everyone except Kyle.

  
Kyle stood outside the venue on the balcony with a full glass of red wine in his hands, wishing that he enjoyed the taste so it could help him ease the pain of this “joyous” day. He had nothing to be happy about. All the years of hoping had finally come to an end. There was no hope, not even one ray left. Stan and Wendy had tied the knot. It was finalised.

  
“Dude, Kyle wait up!” Stan called as he came jogging up behind him in his suit. Kyle looked up at him but said nothing, trying with all his might to hold back the tears in his eyes just from seeing him in a suit. “Why’d you run out right before your best man speech? Everyone was waiting for you to give it.” Stan asked him as the two stood together out on the balcony alone. Kyle poured his glass of wine over the side of the railing and sunk down in defeat. Stan could see that it was more serious than he thought, so he sat down beside him.

  
“I was just…nervous, that’s all.” Kyle fibbed, choking back tears. Stan looked at him with an uneasy expression on his face.

  
“That’s all it is?” He pried, not believing his super best friend for one second. Kyle wondered about what he should do at that moment. He had two choices: he could lie and continue the wedding and the rest of his life pretending like he was ok with everything, or he could tell the truth.

  
“No Stan, it’s not it. There’s so much more than you could ever understand.” Kyle began.

  
“Kyle, I don’t get it.” Stan stated, shocked by his best friend’s sudden sadness.

  
“I know you don’t, you never have.” Kyle continued, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know how else to show you how much I love you. Every day you were with her, I died a little inside. When you guys broke up time after time, I figured it would finally be the end, but you always came crawling back to her like she was your soul mate, and maybe she is, I don’t know. But now, you’re hers forever, and I think you should know how much I wish I could be her. No, I don’t fucking want to be a girl, but I wish I had what she has; you.” Kyle said as he paused and observed his friend’s expression. To Kyle’s surprise, Stan wasn’t appalled, instead, he looked as though he was about to cry right along with Kyle.

  
“Kyle, I love you too.” Stan added quietly, reaching out his hand to grab his friend’s. “And maybe if there weren’t so many expectations, it could have been different.”

  
“Expectations?” Kyle stuttered, his eyes on the verge of bursting.

  
“Yeah. I was the quarterback in middle school, high school, college, I have a job now, and I should get married to my high school sweetheart. Sure we had some bumps, but I’m hoping it’ll work out, and if not, I don’t know, but does anyone?” Stan concluded. Kyle couldn’t help but roll his red, tear filled eyes.

  
“So you’re going along with all of this because of some expectations you feel were thrust upon you? God, I don’t even know what to say to that.” Kyle went on, shoving his face into his palms in defeat.

  
“I don’t fucking know either, Kyle.” Stan admitted, tears falling from his eyes and his lip beginning to tremble. “God, if only things were different…It could have been you and me…It could have been you and me…”


End file.
